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So Now You’re a Zombie

For example, one day my friends and I went to see “I Love You, Beth Cooper”. I found the trailers to be more entertaining than the film itself. but when the New Moon trailer came onscreen, the theatre literally shook with cries from teenage girls, all of which went “Twilight!” or “Edward” and the like. The other half of the theatre let out a roaring “BOO!”. But one man, I feel embodied the sentiment of the rest of the audience when he got up and yelled “OH, SH– NO!!!” and then walked out of the theatre for the trailer alone. Once again, I feel I should say this isn’t a review. I could honestly care less about the franchise, and why should I care? I don’t fit the demographic that it’s aimed towards. I’m not bashing anyone who does like it. I’m simply sick of seeing it EVERYWHERE I go. I can’t go to the book aisle in my local Walmart (which seems to have stopped carrying Stephen King) without seeing an ENTIRE SECTION devoted to Twilight. I highly doubt that the demand for that book is that big.

And from what I do know about the series, all I really know to say is that it’s really not a story we haven’t heard a few million times before. I think that Twilight has essentially killed vampires as horror oriented figures and has made them into the equivelent of elves or faeries, which is a group that vampires don’t belong in. I think if you’re going to do a GOOD vampire story, then stick to the folklore. From what I’ve heard, the way vampires are depicted hardly even resemble vampires. I’ll put it like this: VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE IN THE DAYLIGHT! THEY DIE! Or at least get progressively weakened. It’s like they’re deliberately trying to take the terror out of vampires to turn into romantic symbols when the whole point of a vampiric love story is that the terrifying aspect is what makes the romantic angle exciting to the reader/viewer! If you really want to see good vampire fiction, then watch Underworld or read Anne Rice! Please!

Like I said, that wasn’t a critique of the books themselves. I just wish this whole thing would die down a little bit like the fad that it is.

Here, go watch Underworld
Underworld Trilogy (Underworld / Underworld: Evolution / Underworld: Rise of the Lycans)
or read some Anne Rice. Complete Vampire Chronicles (Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, The Queen of the Damned, The Tale of the body Thief)