Underworld Reboot Announced…For Some Reason

Underworld Reboot Announced…For Some Reason

Movies

Look, I get it: The Underworld movies have a following. I even enjoy them from time to time because they appeal to the basic needs of a movie buff to see vampires fight werewolves with guns because of reasons. But was there ever actually demand for a reboot? You know what, no, let me ask the more important question: Was there ever actually demand for another movie after the last one was just…not fun at all?

Let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we? Len Wiseman just isn’t that good of a director and at this point Hollywood knows it. Die Hard was a well thought of franchise before he came along and decided that the thing the fourth Die Hard movie needed was a blue filter thrown on every friggin’ shot. The blue filter looks great on Underworld…not on John McClain. He’s not that creative, either. This guy clearly just took everything he liked about The Matrix, threw in some vampires and werewolves and came up with every 13 year old boy’s dream action franchise.

Here’s the thing about reboots, and why Hollywood’s reboot spree is almost entirely pointless in my opinion (with exception to a select few properties) : You should really only reboot something that lends itself to such. There’s a reason why we see Batman, Spider-Man, Frankenstein, and so many other iconic characters rebooted again and again. That reason is because those are characters with premises that are simple enough to sum up in one to two sentences and can be interpreted to death. You can walk away for twenty seconds and immediately come up with a new take on them that makes you go “Aha! Here’s a new way to present it that honors what came before while breaking new ground!” Underworld is a franchise that was designed for its specific moment and doesn’t really reach beyond that moment. Selene is a wooden character and her romance with Michael is exactly the same.

It’s hard to argue that Underworld is an “original” property. It would be easy to say that a reboot could probably be an improvement on the series and possibly even bring some depth. But why would Hollywood want to waste the time and effort on reinventing a franchise that wasn’t that original to begin with?

New Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? Trailer

New Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? Trailer

Movies

I remember being seven years old and losing my mind when I heard that Warner Bros. was making a new Superman movie. I was even more excited when I heard that Tim Burton was going to direct it. See, that’s the kind of thing that’s easy to laugh about now. But in 1996 Tim Burton’s career was still relatively new. Everyone knew he preferred the more out there, artsy stuff but it wasn’t exclusively what people thought of when they thought of him. People knew Burton could be commercial and they knew if anybody at the time could get a Superman movie made, it would be the guy who reinvented Batman for the big screen. Hindsight is 20/20, folks.

 
Once upon a time Nicolas Cage was a freaking movie star. I don’t mean a guy who happens to be in movies because it pays the rent. I mean a real, bona fide, people paid to see him MOVIE STAR. People would actually pay to go see this man act in movies, normally really good action movies, and they would be happy about having done that. Well, that same wonderful year of 1996 (RIP Surge, objectively the best soda of all time) Nic Cage was cast as Superman. Not Brainiac. Not Lex Luthor. Superman. This decision was, for lack of a better word, insane. The kind of insanity that could only come from Jon Peters. To learn more about Jon Peters, watch this vid where Kevin Smith talks about the time he was hired to write this Superman movie.

Sounds insane, right? It was. It was so insane that the movie collapsed under its own enormity and never saw a single frame of footage shot. And being honest? Part of me wishes it had been made. Just look at this.

niccage superman

That is Nic Cage as Superman. That is not photoshop. That is real test footage of the costume designed by Colleen Atwood for Superman. There is a parallel universe where this movie got made. I want to go to this universe and steal the Bluray of it so I can see what could have been the best or worst (or probably just not that great) Superman movie ever.

The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? comes from Jon Schnepp, director Metalocalpse and too many other shows to mention. It is an in-depth, warts and all documentary that covers the making of the would-be Superman movie and where it ultimately fell apart. The trailer is below. You can donate to the crowdsourcing platform to ensure that the movie gets made right here.

The Conjuring Spin Off Annabelle Gets First Trailer

The Conjuring Spin Off Annabelle Gets First Trailer

Movies

The Conjuring is easily one of my favorite horror films from the past few years. After being bombarded with found footage horror movies it was refreshing to see James Wan bring us a classical style horror film. It featured great pacing, held back on the big scare moments towards the end, and really let us get to know and like the characters. Having said that, I really haven’t been too excited for the Conjuring spin off “Annabelle”.

Being honest, I don’t really buy the trailer’s premise. I’ve seen pictures of the real Annabelle doll, and it’s a very quaint looking doll. It’s easy to understand why someone would find that doll at least remotely cute. But when the wife says that the creepy looking, grinning, deranged doll “fits right in” with her antique dolls…yeah, sorry. Not buying it for even one second. Creepy doll movies rise and fall on the creepiness of the dolls themselves. Annabelle worked in The Conjuring because she was a side character, not a focal point. Her presence, save for the opening and part of the climax, was almost negligible (yet another reason why I’m confused as to why this spin off even exists). Your doll has to look cute enough to believe that a human being with functioning eyes and some semblance of judgment would voluntarily purchase it and place it in their home for their children to have access to. There’s a reason why in Child’s Play the mom buys the kid the Chuckie doll: because the doll looks harmless enough. The doll has to look just harmless enough for someone to want to have it, but have just enough of an edge to it that you know there’s something not right about it when you look at it for a prolonged period of time. The design for Annabelle just falls flat.

Having said that, once you get past the premise and poor design of the doll, there’s a lot to dig about this trailer. It’s cool to see some old school effects shots being put to great use. It also helps that visually it has a lot in common with The Conjuring, thanks to the fact that the director, John R. Leonetti, was the cinematographer on The Conjuring. Also, the last moment of the trailer is well done, in my opinion. My only genuine concern is that the director ‘s only credits as a director are for Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (yikes…), and The Butterfly Effect 2, which I didn’t see but the fact that it was a direct to video sequel to a semi-popular film…yeah, not holding out a lot of hope.

Annabelle opens October 3rd, just in time for the Halloween season.